Spice-Rubbed Roasted Salmon with Lemon-Garlic Spinach
by FALKENHAYN
Summary: Anastasia invites Christian over to enjoy their first homecooked meal together, an enticing marinated salmon entrée. Her beloved soon discovers that he's bitten off more than he can chew. This is a family friendly version of my previous tale, a metaphorical masterpiece carefully designed to skirt around this website's unfriendliness to adult material.


The master of the universe, millennial millionaire Christian Grey pranced through the wide open front door of Anastasia's apartment, pounding his business briefcase against the floor repeatedly in some sort of bizarre ancient mating ritual. This was the first evening in which Anastasia planned to treat Christian to her admittedly atrocious cooking, though through a series of MewTube videos she had planned to finally improve her skills.

"Honey, I'm home!" Christian announced brashly, before punting his briefcase clean across the room and out of an open window. It landed with a crash into a parked car, setting off a cryptic car alarm. He glanced down at the neatly set placemats atop the rickety, checkerboard-patterned table that aspired to one day become the member of a dinette set.

"Where's the grub at, babes?" Christian eloquently inquired as to the location of the fishy meal he anticipated. Ana guided him with a wink and the curl of an index finger towards the bedroom, as the steady sour stench strongly grew. Anastasia tore the covers off her latest concoction, revealing a beautifully decorated plate of salmon centered in the middle of the mattress.

Christian was too hungry from his hard days' labor spent staring at a computer monitor – he didn't pause to debate the merits of eating dinner from the same place in which their tender love juices intertwined. The boy billionaire dived headfirst, flopping his form diagonally across the bed as his palms embraced knife and fork. Ana sat down by the pillow, eyeing him with lust. This evening was endearing to her – despite the platitudes shared between the pair, Christian had yet to use his tongue to caress her fishy meat. He penetrated the center of the fabulous filet, using the fork to hold it steady as he opened a vertical gap.

"Oh god, Christian, spread my layers open, taste my love for you!" Anastasia exclaimed, as Christian's face began to head south. He tossed the utensils aside - A real man didn't need to use tools. As he inched closer to the veritable love canal, the stench of finely cooked fish was overpowering. He salivated, dripping bodily fluids onto the flesh. The teasing tongue tip tenderly touched the surface of the meat, moving ever so slowly in a circular pattern. Anastasia moaned as she vicariously experienced the emotions of her entrée, a burning desire developing deep within. This was a visceral tease of the purest form, a dance in which the only intimate contact occurred through ocular occlusion.

"Mmm, Ana…" Christian savored the flavour as he moved on to the main course, beginning to nibble around the opening. He sank his teeth in, with a trickle of juice down his chin that resembled a vampire claiming its victim. Anastasia's moans reached a climax as she imagined her dear Christian playing the role of her favorite fictional vampire. His lips and tongue were not enough to complete the carnival of carnal delight; soon, his fingers joined in on the festivities.

Christian twirled his digits through the lemon-garlic sauce splashed against the spinach, scattered around the salmon's outer edges. His index finger and tongue simultaneously spiraled through the entrée's erogenous zones, stimulating the undead texture. Anastasia could almost feel this touch against the skin above her waist, despite an arm's length distance between the pair.

"Yes Christian, your fingers! Work it in as deep as you can!" With her statement, Christian picked up the fish fillet, biting into it with all of the finesse of an animal tearing through flesh. Finally with a full piece in his mouth, Christian could at last appreciate the full experience of the fish. All six of his senses were immediately overwhelmed, as he writhed on the bed in ecstasy. The thrilled trillionaire could imagine nothing but his future life as a pescatarian – he wanted nothing more than for this experience to continue into infinity. Sadly, it was not fated to be as Christian forgot the essential act of chewing before the meat entered his throat.

He rolled from the bed with a thunderous thud, throwing the dinner plate upside down. Anastasia panicked as Christian coughed and sputtered, briefly hesitating. As Anastasia had no useful life skills, she wasn't sure what to do in this situation. Slowly, three magic letters assembled in the vacant space between her ears – CPR! _Crash his Private Region_? That had to be it. As Christian lay prone, she repeatedly stomped his nether regions with her bare feet, until at last, the offending piece of salmon was propelled forth with the force of a high-calibre dinosaur-hunting bullet.

The fishy fragment's final destination was none other than Anastasia's left eye, serving as karmic retribution for the previous assault on her dear lover's manhood. It landed with a splatter of saliva before bouncing off into errant space, as she stood dumbfounded. Christian's coughing subsided, as he climbed to his feet. She faced him with a look of consternation.

"You know, Christian, you really should warn me if you're going to shoot it in my eye."


End file.
